Hermione's A Woman
by Chach-A-Lot
Summary: What happens when Hermione gets her monthly for the first time?


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter!  
  
One day in the Gryffindor commonroom Hermione was acting very odd. Ron  
  
Harry and Hermione were sitting once again in their favorite comfy chairs.   
  
Hermione looked up and noticed Neville was staring at her from across the room.  
  
"What?" Hermione said to Neville attracting looks from Ron, Harry, and  
  
Dean.   
  
"N-N-Nothing..." replyed Neville, "You just look different!"  
  
"What does that mean?" Hermione snapped.  
  
"It doesn't mean anything! You just look different!"  
  
"Nevil's right Hermione!" said Ron.  
  
"Yeah! There is something different about you!" said Harry  
  
"OHH!! Well, I see! Harry Ron and Nevil team up and insult Hermione!!  
  
I see how it is! Dean, do you have anything to say?" Hermione said attracting  
  
more attention to herself.  
  
"No,.." said Dean "b...."  
  
"What about you Fred, George, Lee, Seamus?" Hermione interrupted now  
  
having all eyes on her. The room was silent. Before anyone could react   
  
Hermione had swept up the stairs to the girls dorm.   
  
"What's her problem?" Ron asked Ginny once everyone had returned to  
  
their activities.  
  
"She is going through womenly things! You wouldn't understand. You're  
  
men!" answered Ginny.  
  
"Tell us about it." said Harry, "Mabey we could do something to help  
  
her."  
  
"No..." said Ginny "There's nothing you can do. Trust me!"  
  
"Come on!" said Ron  
  
"Ok but don't go thinking you know how she feels. You don't and you  
  
won't....... Well, there is a time that comes in every girls life where she   
  
goes through changes. Their bodies start developing.." Ginny stoped and the looks  
  
on Harry and Ron's faces, "You know her breasts grow she gets taller! Well  
  
anyway... Her overies start to... uhhh... what's the word?... work. Yes they  
  
start to work.. and once a month she bleeds out of her... uhh... well let's   
  
just say she bleeds where the sun don't shine!" she stopped again and laughed  
  
at the looks Ron and Harry were giving her. "And well it's the way she knows   
  
that her body is working. She can be impregnated now.... GET PREGNANT! HAVE A  
  
BABY! Stupid men! There is also a thing called PMS Pre-Menstrual-Syndrome.   
  
You get cranky and you tend to bitch. You also get cramps like hell froze over  
  
and it is a pain in the ass to take care of. You have to change a pad every so  
  
often and it is hell!"  
  
"So.. you mean that she is bleeding.. DOWN THERE?" asked Ron.  
  
"Yes" said Ginny.  
  
"That sounds TERRIBLE!" said Harry.  
  
"IT IS!!" said Ginny, "Well I am going to bed!" With that Ginny got up  
  
and walked up the stairs to the girls dorm. What Ginny had just told Ron and   
  
Harry had them stumped. How was it possible?? Why did it happen? They thought.  
  
After talking it out and thinking hard about it they also went to bed.  
  
The next day Harry and Ron told Hermione about their talk with Ginny.  
  
Hermione laughed and said, "So, now your educated on the ways of women! And  
  
now you know that if I snap I am sorry and it is not really my fault and you'll  
  
forgive me?!"  
  
"Of corse" said Ron. And with that they were off to breakfast. It was Sat.  
  
so they had no classes. It was warm outside so they went out onto the grounds   
  
and sat under the tree that James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter sat under.   
  
"So Granger... growing breasts are we?" said a cold familiar voice from  
  
behind them.   
  
"EXCUSE ME?" said Hermione, "Who the fuck do you think you are? Comming  
  
over here and saying that? You are suck a stuck up bastard with no fucking brain!"  
  
"You have enough brains for everyone here at Hogwarts, Granger. And I   
  
like your new found breasts. Growing quite fast are they?" said Draco. He was  
  
quite right indeed Hermione's breasts were growing at a what seemed to be an  
  
unhealthy speed. Hermione covered her chest.  
  
"Well, what do you want me to do about it? You stupid fuck? You dickless  
  
excuse for a humanbe....."  
  
"Dickless? Hermione if I was dickless then it is likely I would be bleeding  
  
out of what I had like you!" Draco interrupted.  
  
"AHHHH!" Hermione jumped to her feet and started smacking Draco repeatedly  
  
in the face. He pushed her away and she quickly jumped back in but she grabbed  
  
his balls instead of slapping him. Draco let out a squeak. "If you ever say anything  
  
about my period again then I will make it so you don't have any fucking kids...  
  
NO! I will make it so you don't have anything to make kids with! I will rip  
  
off your fucking dick and balls so fast that you will be peeing out of your ass!  
  
Fucking twat!!" Hermione let go and stared at Malfoy.  
  
"YES MA'M!" Draco squeaked as he fell to the ground.  
  
"HERMIONE NEVER EVER DO THAT TO A MAN! THAT HURTS! I THINK YOU HAVE  
  
JUST TOOK AWAY HIS MAN HOOD! Come Harry let's take him to the hospital wing!"  
  
said Ron as he and Harry hurried away with Malfoy in their arms.  
  
Later that day Ron and Harry returned from the hospital wing looking  
  
petrified.   
  
"I didn't know they could turn purple like that" said Harry  
  
"Hermione you did him in good!" said Ron, "I think that is the last  
  
time he will ever hit on you!"  
  
"What? He was hitting on he?" said Hermione sounding truely clueless.  
  
"Well duh! Hermione" said Ron.  
  
"Well that will teach him... NEVER MESS WITH HERMIONE GRANGER WHEN SHE  
  
IS ON HER RAG!"  
  
"What rag?" said Ron  
  
"I don't see a rag!" said Harry  
  
"IT MEANS I HAVE MY PERIOD! STUPID FUCK!"  
  
"Well that was uncalled for!" said Ron  
  
"Sorry!" said Hermione "Just got carried away!"  
  
"It's ok Hermione! But Malfoy did have a point, I mean your boobs did   
  
get very very big over the last couple of days!" said Harry  
  
"Oh.. that well that's what happens!" blushed Hermione, "Is Malfoy ok?  
  
I mean...did I hurt him that bad?"  
  
"Yeah! He sounds like a mouse and he has to stay in the hospitial wing  
  
for a few days" said Harry  
  
Hemione felt bad and said she would go to visit Draco. By the time   
  
she got a couple of days later there he had regained his regular voice.   
  
"Come to hurt me more Granger?" said Draco  
  
"No I have come to apologise"   
  
"Oh well it is going to take a glimps of those jugs and a date to Hogsmade  
  
for me to forgive me."  
  
"Ok"  
  
"Just like that?"  
  
"Yeah" Hermione showed Draco her "JUGS"  
  
"WOW!" said Draco  
  
"Well My period is almost over and the Hogsmeade weekend is next  
  
weekend! So I should be ok!"  
  
"I am really sorry about that comment! But if you don't mind we are going  
  
to have to keep our little date on the down low if my dad new that I went out  
  
with a mudblood..." he had said too much  
  
"MUDBLOOD!!! YOU STUPID FUCK!!! NEVER CALL ME A MUDBLOOD WHEN I AM IN  
  
THIS KIND OF MOOD!!" she seized his balls again but stopped herself. "Oh I am  
  
sorry!"  
  
"It's ok Granger!"  
  
Hermione told Harry and Ron the story while they were studying...then  
  
made a big mistake. She pulled from her bag a bottle of Breasts in a Bottle.   
  
Under the title it said Makes boobs grow 3 cups in one bottle.   
  
"How many bottles of that have you used?" asked Ron   
  
Not thinking Hermione replyed, "2"  
  
"WOW!" said Harry  
  
Hermione quickly realized her mistake and put the bottle away.  
  
"IF YOU EVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS I WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET THE SAME  
  
FUCKING FATE AS MALFOY!" she snapped.  
  
With that Harry and Ron never spoke of that first seven days of bleeding  
  
Hell again! 


End file.
